I’ve had this thing about being the winning underdog since I was a teenager… Its tied to being one of three speedskaters in my age class, and initially always ending up losing.
It was also my only respite from a hellish experience at school, so I really enjoyed putting everything into it – and after a while I started winning a small thing: when drawing a 500 meter towards the best one of us three, I always beat him to the first 100 meters.
…which led to him getting nervous, and falling in the approaching curve – leaving me the actual winner 😉
From there on it escalated, and the past couple of years I crushed both of my mates – especially the last year I basically blasted past their level altogether.
And then I lost interest, being 18-19 & partying was more fun!
Spool forward a couple of decades I had this conversation with my doctor:
Me: “Do you think… Can it be…?”
Him: “Cancer, you mean? Not at all, you’re just too ill and exhausted, cancer patients normally feel much better”
Well… That was of course SOME relief, but also quite something to deal with…
Which I eventually did, popping serious painkillers & taking up speedskating again! It all worked beautifully for a short period, and I could even eye the possibility of beating myself as a 18 year old being close to 40 🙂
But there is a limit to everything, pushing beyond those leads to the result you should expect – and after a year or so I was back in the completely exhausted, undescribable state that is CFS…
What do you do when you HAVE to beat a condition that completely locks you into extreme exhaustion and hellish pains? When pushing harder only makes it worse?
The only way was to work in a smart way rather than hard… This took way longer, and I simply had to pull on as many resources as possible – all at the same time.
A lot of my time & energy went to communicating and explaining, being an “interpreter” between people in the teams I was a founding member of, and simply to keep it all together.
But still it only went downhill… When even all my ligaments started giving up and I had to tape up my leg to get transported out of a cabin in the woods I seriously started doubting if it was possible to beat this thing a second time…
Never give up! Finally, 26 years after my initial bout of almost not making it in hospital I found the diet (more about that later) that actually worked, that actually dealt with the root cause of 3 decades of heavy illness.
I think I spent around 5 years to beat my opponents on the track, in a young but abused body, but the REAL feat was finally getting to the root of what lies behind it all.
How will it play out now? Will the progress continue after around half a year of doing a diet most people will consider extreme? Will the sky-high blood pressure I’m experiencing now come down, and is it due to stress or side-effects?
Lets hope I’m on the last lap of winning this one… And that I somehow can transform all these experiences into something that can help anyone else as well…
I made it this far, I fulfilled my pledge to myself on beating the root cause, so of course I will not give up on this new chapter that I’ve opened up here!